2013 : I’ll Just Say, Fare Thee Well.

And just like that, 2013 walked out of our lives forever.  It was a year marked by sporadic blog entries and I can’t promise that 2014 will be any different but I will do my best to stay somewhat active.  

So what have I been doing?  In short, I’ve been doing my best to focus on my health.  That means yoga once a week and running.  My diet has gone slightly to shit but I am aware and making efforts to get it back on track.  Overall, the physical is stable and I am extremely thankful for that. Running has been the constant in my life, I think I may be a tad burned out but I am still moving forward and isn’t that the name of the game?  I have struggled a little with motivation since New York but I am still getting out at least 4 days a week.  In the middle of December it came to a halt for a few days, I actually took an unplanned break from running, for get this…5 FULL days.  Crazy I know, but to put it into perspective, after NYC I only took 3 days off.  I don’t know if I ever mentioned my mileage stretch goal  for 2013? I know that the 1,100 mile goal was declared but the stretch goal of 1,250 started coming into focus once I chose my training program for NYC.  Well after New York I took it a bit easy.  Then the 5 day hiatus coupled with the decline in total weekly mileage, I was doing my best to let that goal slip away.  With just 11 days left in December I still had 51 miles to run and two holidays.  I kept thinking…1,200 is so AWESOME …I was trying to be content with the total I had already reached.  51 miles in 11 days just seemed overwhelming.

So rewind to the holidays, usually my favorite part of the year because it’s a time for family and friends but life changed a lot for me in 2013 and the holidays slapped me across the face with the weight of it all.  November was probably the most insane month in my life, I literally went from completing the New York City Marathon, one of my highest moments, to one of my lowest.  I don’t share too much personal information and I don’t plan to share much more than the next paragraph because words would fail the emotion and the person.

I was in a relationship with a woman for over 9 years, someone who I loved completely and cherished as a partner but most of all as my best friend.  In mid November it became clear that our expectations for the relationship were not in alignment and that it was time to really go our separate ways. The lesson of the year for me was that no matter how much effort you put in, or how bad you want something, the outcome is not always reflected in the end result.  Things don’t always work out as planned.  I am doing my best to accept that I gave the relationship my all and that I can’t control the outcome, especially when someone else’s hopes and dreams are part of the equation.  I continue to adjust my perspective and focus on the positives. The positives are my friends, new and old, and family that have helped make the transition better and instilled confidence.  The reality is that I am thankful for the relationship, she made me a better person and I hope I did the same for her. Either way, time passes whether I like it or not and I’m slowly getting a handle on life as a single person.  Doing my best to reform good habits and handle things the right way.  It’s a big change in my life and I would be remiss to not share even the vaguest of details.

Running has definitely become therapy, hours on the road or trail with nothing but some background music and my thoughts.   As we all know, this can either be really great or really frustrating but overall its amazing because there is no “running away” from your thoughts, you have to face them.  So now to turn the focus back to 1,250, I realized I was making excuses and trying my best to whither away 2013.  The goal just needed to be addressed, it was absolutely something that I could and would do.  I set a loose plan with 11 days left and on December 31 I set out for a trail run in the middle of the desert with 5.3 miles separating me from my goal. The best way to describe the entire run was grueling but rewarding, just like the other 1,245 miles leading up to it.  I put in a lot of work this year and although it didn’t show itself in terms of expected results, the other benefits were well-earned.  I am in great shape and have my overall health to show for every mile, for that I am continually thankful. I don’t know what 2014 has in store for me  I have in store for 2014 but I plan on making the best possible decisions with my opportunities.

Nike+, Mileage, 2013

2013

One decision I have made for 2014 is to start doing more volunteer and charity work.  I have already signed up as a snow mentor for Stoked and this week I decided to do One Run For Boston.  A fundraising relay across America that benefits those impacted by the Boston bombing.  Amy over at Lavender Parking reminded me about the relay via her blog post and it only took a few minutes to make a decision.  I will be running Stage 6 at about midnight in a questionable part of town so it should be interesting!  If you would like to donate a couple of dollars then follow this link…One Run For Boston.

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About Dominick S.

I am no longer new to the running community. I started this blog in 2012 as an outlet. I decided to express myself but had no idea anyone would actually read my posts. I don't have a ton of subscribers but after 2 years of "expressing myself" I do have a solid group of new friends. Hopefully I can continue to share something of value to someone. Thanks for reading! Dominick

20 responses to “2013 : I’ll Just Say, Fare Thee Well.”

  1. Amy says :

    Sorry to hear about the shitty end to your year. I kind of had a feeling this was the case, and if there had been pictures of you passed out in the egg nog bowl, I wouldn’t have blamed/judged you. That is a very significant life change, but you (at least from what I can gather from vague paragraphs!) appear to be keeping on keeping on, and I’m glad you have family, friends, running, and other passions to keep you going. But yes, onward and upward!

    Of course very excited for your participation in One Run! Apparently the route goes through a terrifying area of Saint Louis at night, and those runners actually requested police escorts (or maybe just notified them?) if I remember correctly. Should be fun times!

    • Dominick S. says :

      It’s life! I can’t stop just because it doesn’t work out so onward indeed. As for One Run, I am excited to participate this year! I am not sure if the area is police escort sketchy, I think it’s more, don’t get mugged or hit by a drunk driver sketchy.

  2. kandjcolorado says :

    Oh Dom….. I’m so sorry to hear about the relationship. I understand completely and am currently going through the same thing. You are doing great though by continuing to do well for you and focusing on the positives and your health and lessons you have learned. Well done!

  3. sephiroth796 says :

    Good to hear from you since the big NYC race. “Running has definitely become therapy”, amen, you speak the truth bro. One door closes and another two doors open (relationships). Besides, there is a world full of marathons to run since you are a marathoner now. 5 days off, an outrage! Happy 2014.

    • Dominick S. says :

      Ha, I speak only what I know man. One door definitely closed, I’ll start looking for open doors sometime down the road…right now…I think I’ll just stay outside! As far as marathons…we’ll see! Happy 2014 to you as well!

  4. Jen says :

    First, CONGRATS on reaching 1250 in 2013! I feel like we’re twins in terms of our “running journey”, as cheesy as that sounds — we’ve both reached a lot of big milestones and accomplished a lot in the past 2 years or so. Thanks for your constant support and encouragement! Second, sorry to hear about the break-up. It must be so tough, I’ve never had a relationship for that long before. Sounds like you’re keeping your chin up though, so… anyway, thanks for sharing the personal detail – I’m sure it wasn’t easy. Finally, good luck with the One Run! Volunteering and charity is a great goal.

    • Dominick S. says :

      Jen, we are running twins except you run more than I do…I noticed this last year. You’re always welcome for the support and encouragement, you dish it too! As for the relationship, there is no manual so you just take it as it comes and staying positive is never a bad move. Thanks for the well wishes with One Run, I am definitely excited to give back more in 2014!

  5. runcolbyrun says :

    November. Mine was April almost 5 years ago. It was a shit time to say the least. I will say looking back on the miles traveled both literally and figuratively, that I have grown immensely. I threw myself into running and found clarity. I also threw myself into charity work, raising money for a cause I believe in. It was the best therapy ever. I wish that for you. Congratulations on 1250! And on New York! Bummed we couldn’t meet up. To 2014, Dominic. Cheers.

    • Dominick S. says :

      It’s all part of the journey and the new goal is to live life well. I don’t know what that means just yet since my old goals were so common, so I just plan on making good choices and seeing where I end up! I plan on doing more volunteer/charity work and traveling. THANK YOU for the well wishes and congrats! We shall meet at some point in life, maybe I will do the PMC someday, cycling is on the list for 2014.

  6. Megan Cabalka says :

    Great goals for 2014…Looking forward to watching them. Holy crapola this post resonated with me. I am the same way…never wanted to share too much personal information because, meh, why divulge in all relationship deets, right? If you remember, I got serious in a blog post once (http://megancabalka.wordpress.com/2013/04/). Never mentioned it was my relationship troubles, but it was. Anyway, I also ended a long relationship (8 years) about a year and a half ago. It was a long, tough, crappy road but if I can give you some advice…it will all work out in the end. Yes, it’s sucks constantly having these thoughts: “did I do the right thing? I miss him (her). Is it worth it to start all the way over with someone new (yes)?” Bah, the list goes on. BUT seriously, you’ll be much happier once you do figure it out…and you will.

    • Dominick S. says :

      I have more goals for 2014 but those are some I have already set in motion! As for the serious talk…I am looking at things as positive as possible and I know in time things will shake out hopefully for the best. I know its the right thing for her (and ultimately me if it is for her, not trying to pretend I’m selfless), she will always be a part of me (and that’s a great thing), and I know at some point a new relationship will be worth it but that point is not now or anywhere in my plans today. Anyways!!! Thanks for reading and the input as always.

  7. seetinarun says :

    Just getting to this now. So very sorry to hear about your relationship ending. Great that you are looking at the positives and the lessons learned, but dang, I wish good lessons didn’t so often come at a cost. Congratulations on 1250! That is wonderful! Sounds like you have a terrific plan for 2014 and I’m sure you are taking it by storm.
    Running…a constant…for so many of us. For good reason. Cheapest therapy around.

    • Dominick S. says :

      Oh man, if only there was a way to eliminate that cost…life would be so much easier and better! Does this much bad really make you enjoy the good even more? Anyway, thanks for the congrats, we’ll see if I try and take another run at 1250. I think I am getting on a bike soon!

  8. The Traveling Circus says :

    Is anything harder than change? No matter how logical or inevitable or sensible, it’s painful! We (maybe just me?) all want to seem so flexible and carefree but any transition, especially that means the change in a relationship with someone you care for and have shared with, is tough. You don’t need me to tell you any of that, but I thought I’d give some words of affirmation. xoxoxoxoxo (meet me for a race this year?! you can wait for me for about an hour at the finish line)

  9. Dominick S. says :

    Not much more challenging than adapting to change, it’s something that I hoped to not go through again but that part is out of my control right and I deal with what I can control. Affirmation is always welcomed! Name a race and I will probably be in…I am doing SF(half) and Brooklyn (half) as of now (in the lottery again for NYC) but definitely need some other races on the calendar!

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